Professor Carlson did a lot of SEC profile homework to prepare the Longhorn Nation for the Fall 2024 football season.

 UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE

Location: Tuscaloosa

Enrollment: 32,458

Most recent national title: 2020

Most recent conference title: 2023

Old School football icons: Bear Bryant, Lee Roy Jordan, Joe Namath, Johnny Musso, John Hannah

More pigskin royalty:  Mark Ingram, Derrick Henry, Tua Tagovailoa, DeVonta Smith, Bryce Young

On mic/camera:  Rece Davis, Mel Allen

TV: Jim “Gomer” Nabors, Sela Ward

Bestseller list: Harper Lee, Gay Talese

Party king: Ken Stabler

Unlikely ex: Timothy Leary

Series vs. Texas: Horns lead, 8-2-1

Notable: DKR was 2-0-1 vs Bear at Bama…UT beat Tide (21-17 in Orange Bowl) after Bama had already won ’64 natty…Nick Saban took his first Bama championship when Colt McCoy got the cold shoulder early on in the ’09 title fight… Teams traded road wins the past two seasons.

UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS

Location: Fayetteville

Enrollment: 26,269

Most recent national title: 1964

Most recent conference title: 1989 (SWC)

Old school football icons:  Lance Alworth, Dan Hampton, Billy Ray Smith, Chuck Dicus

More pigskin royalty: Jerry Jones, Barry Switzer, Jimmy Johnson, Fred Akers, Darren McFadden

On mic/camera – Pat Summerall

Sing along with: Charlie Rich

Series vs. Texas: UT leads, 56-23

Notable:  Hogs have won 4 of 6 against UT since UA left SWC…Hogs prevented Horns from winning back-to-back natties when they got a one-point road win in ’64 and went on to their lone national title…Texas, of course, got it’s own one-point road win five years later in The Big Shootout of ’69, cementing their second national championship…DKR won 9 of last ten matchups against his good friend, Frank Broyles…The ‘shine will be flowing in the Ozarks when UT comes calling in November.

AUBURN UNIVERSITY TIGERS

Location: Auburn, AL

Enrollment: 25,379

Last national title: 2010

Last conference title: 2013

Old school football icons: Bo Jackson, Pat Sullivan

More pigskin royalty: Cam Newton, Tracy Rocker, Terry Beasley

On mic/camera: Charles Barkley

Sing along with: Lionel Richie, Bobby Goldsboro

Son of a beach ex-student: Jimmy Buffett

Series vs. Texas: UT leads, 5-3

Notable:  Tigers have won last two (’87,’91)…Texas registered big, back-to-back victories in ’83 and ’84 against Bo Jackson’s team, with UT All-American Jerry Gray memorably chasing him down after a 53-yard run in the Horns’ 35-27 victory in Austin in September ’84.  It was a key play that helped save the win, separating Bo’s shoulder in the process.

UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA GATORS

Location: Gainesville

Enrollment: 34,552

Last national title: 2008

Last conference title: 2008

Old school football icons: Steve Spurrier, Emmitt Smith, Jack Youngblood

More pigskin royalty: Tim Tebow,  Fred Taylor, Danny Wuerffel

On mic/camera: Cris Collinsworth, Jesse Palmer, Chris Doering, Laura Rutledge

Sing along with:  Mel Tillis, Johnny Tillotson

Weeeee-doggies: Buddy Ebsen

Class clown ex-student: Darrell Hammond, Saturday Night Live

Bonus track:  Tom Petty was a Gainesville boy…didn’t attend UF but revered at The Swamp

Series vs. Texas:  Texas leads, 2-1-1

Notable:  The teams tied, 7-7, in their first matchup, one hundred years ago.  Texas pitched shutouts against Florida in the last two fights in ’39-’40.  So it’s been a minute.

The Horns get the Gators at home in early November.

UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA BULLDOGS

Location: Athens

Enrollment: 30,714

Last national title: 2022

Last conference title: 2022

Old School football icons: Herschel Walker,  Fran Tarkenton, Bill Stanfill

More pigskin royalty:  Champ Bailey, Nick Chubb, Stetson Bennett, Brock Bowers

On mic/camera: Deborah Norville, Ernie Johnson, Jr, David Pollack

Sing along with: Trisha Yearwood

Swing along with: Bubba Watson

Series vs. UT:  Texas leads 4-1

Notable:  The Dawgs’ lone win marks a dark day in ‘Horn history, the 10-9 Cotton Bowl verdict that ruined a perfect ’83 season and a shot at the national crown….Texas upset Georgia in the most recent battle, the Sugar Bowl wrapping up the ’18 season.  This year’s scheduled Oct. 19 duel in Austin is the national media’s most hyped heavyweight bout.

UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY WILDCATS

Location: Lexington

Enrollment: 22,735

Last national title: N/A

Last conference title: 1950

Old school football icons: George Blanda, Babe Parilli

More pigskin royalty:  Tim Couch, Jim Kovach, Randall Cobb

Hoop legends: Pat Riley, Anthony Davis, Jamal Mashburn

Hollywood connections: Ashley Judd, Harry Dean Stanton

Series vs. UT: Texas leads, 1-0

Notable:  The Longhorns opened the Ed Price coaching era in ’51 by upsetting the sixth-ranked Wildcats in Austin, 7-6.  Kentucky’s coach?  Bear Bryant.

Texas’ roster featured stalwarts Bobby Dillon, Byron Townsend, Harley Sewell and a soph named Pete Gardere.  The series resumes Nov. 23 at DKR-TMM.

LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY TIGERS

Location: Baton Rouge

Enrollment: 30,952

Last national title: 2019

Last conference title: 2019

Old school football icons:  Billy Cannon, YA Tittle, Jim Taylor, Bert Jones, Tommy Casanova

More pigskin royalty: Joe Burrow, Leonard Fournette, Odell Beckham, Jr,, Tyrann Mathieu

Hoop legends: Pistol Pete Maravich, Shaquille O’Neal

On mic/camera: Booger McFarland, Marcus Spears

Hollywood connection:  Joanne Woodward

Player-turned-author: John Ed Bradley

Sing along with: Stephen Stills

Series vs. UT: Texas leads, 9-8-1

Notable:  The flagships of neighboring states have rarely faced off in the modern era.

LSU ruined UT’s first unbeaten (9-0-1) season (’62) with a 13-0 Cotton Bowl win.

Forty years later, in another Cotton Bowl game, Texas rolled, 35-20, behind Offensive MVP Roy Williams. He turned four catches into 142 yards and also scored on a 39-yard end-around to close QB Chris Simms’ UT career in style….The most recent game was an epic fight at DKR five seasons ago.  Texas fans will always lament a dropped pass in the end zone and a late defensive whiff on 3rd and 17 for Joe Burrow and the Bayou Bengals.  The burnt orange just missed on an onside kick and LSU prevailed, 45-38.

UNIVERSITY OF MISSISSIPPI REBELS

Location: Oxford

Enrollment: 17,302

Last national title: 1962

Last conference title: 1963

Old school football icons: Charlie Conerly, Bruiser Kinard, Jake Gibbs, Patrick Willis

Absolute pigskin royalty:  Archie Manning, Cooper Manning, Eli Manning, Deuce McAllister

On mic/camera:  Ron Franklin

Hollywood connections:  Kate Jackson, Gerald McRaney

Bestseller list: William Faulkner, John Grisham (Ole Miss Law School)

Series vs. UT: Texas leads 6-2

Notable:  The Rebs and Horns split blowout wins just over a decade ago, in 2012-13.

Ole Miss drummed Darrell Royal’s first UT team, 39-7, in the Sugar Bowl but Royal got his first bowl win, a 12-7 defensive classic in the Cotton following the ’61 season.  DKR’s ’66 team shut out the Rebels, 19-0 in the Bluebonnet Bowl, behind a 1-2 -3 punch of Bill Bradley, Chris Gilbert and a stifling defense.

MISSISSIPPI STATE UNIVERSITY BULLDOGS

Location: Starkville

Enrollment: 18,305

Last national title: N/A

Last conference title: 1941

Old school football icons:  DD Lewis, Johnnie Cooks

More pigskin royalty: Dak Prescott, John Bond, Will Rogers

Baseball legends: Will Clark, Rafael Palmeiro

At the bookstore: John Grisham, B.S. Accounting, ’77

Series vs. UT:  Knotted, 2-2

Notable:  Bulldog coach and UT nemesis Jackie Sherrill treated his squad to the castration of a bull as the ’92 game in Austin approached.  MSU bullied John Mackovic’s first Longhorn squad, 28-10…

Mack Brown’s inaugural season at Texas was capped off by a 38-11 thumping of the Bulldogs in the Cotton Bowl Classic that closed out Ricky Williams’ college career and QB Major Applewhite’s stellar freshman year… Texas will be favored to break the series record’s tie when the Steers host MSU on Sept. 28.

UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI TIGERS

Location: Columbia

Enrollment: 23,745

Last national title: N/A

Last conference title: 1969 (Big 8)

Old school football icons: Roger Wehrli, Johnny Roland, Kellen Winslow

More pigskin royalty: Chase Daniel, Chase Coffman, Jeremy Maclin

Hollywood connections:  Brad Pitt, Jon Hamm, Kate Capshaw, George C Scott

Sing along with: Sheryl Crow

Newly crowned college baseball coaching king: Tony Vitello

Playwright nobility:  Tennessee Williams

Series vs. UT: Texas leads, 18-6

Notable:  Longhorn immortal Bobby Layne had a hand or foot in every UT point when he led Texas to a classic 40-27 Cotton Bowl triumph in 1946.  Layne passed for two TDs, ran for three, caught a 50-yard touchdown bomb and kicked four PAT’s….Texas’ best showing against Mizzou during their Big XII days came in 2008.  The eleventh-ranked Tigers rode into Austin behind star QB Chase Daniels, intent upon upsetting top-ranked UT.  But Colt McCoy (29-32, 337 yards) was at his best and the Longhorns zipped to a 35-0 first half lead en route to a 56-31 cruise.

UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA SOONERS

Location: Norman

Enrollment: 21,294

Last national title: 2000

Last conference title: 2020

Old school football icons: Darrell Royal, Ralph Neely, Steve Owens, Greg Pruitt, Billy Sims

More pigskin royalty:  Selmon Bros, Joe Washington,Josh Heupel, Adrian Peterson, Sam Bradford

Dr Pepper Sheriff: Brian Bosworth

Wrestle Mania: Wahoo McDaniel

Hollywood connections: James Garner, Dennis Weaver

Series vs. UT:  Texas leads, 61-53-5

Notable:  OU has dominated the series this century, winning 17 of 25…UT posted an all-time ass-whipping, 49-0, two years ago…. But last season’s failures – no punch at all with first and goal, then a matador defense in the final seconds – spoiled what could have been a perfect regular season for the Horns.  Circle the date: Oct 12.  Kickoff comes at 2:30, providing time for fans to endure the obligatory long lines at the Fletcher’s Corny Dog stand… The Horns cannot afford to think ahead to the following week’s marquee date with Georgia.

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS

Location: Columbia

Enrollment: 27,343

Last national title: N/A

Last conference title: 1969 (ACC)

Old school football icons: Dan Reeves, George Rogers, Sterling Sharpe

More pigskin royalty: Stephon Gilmore, Jadeveon Clowney

Hoops legends: Alex English, John Roche, Sindarius Thornwell

On mic/camera: Ainsley Earhardt, Leeza Gibbons

Sing along with: Darius Rucker and members of Hootie & The Blowfish

He wrote “Deliverance”: James Dickey

Motivation at halftime: Zig Ziglar

Series vs. UT:  USC leads, 1-0

Notable:  The only time the teams have played each other, Americans liked Ike, and Elvis was rockin’.  It was 1957 and Darrell Royal’s first Longhorn team was 2-0 in  but the visiting Gamecocks overcame a 13-point fourth quarter deficit with three touchdowns to dust UT, 27-21…When the series resumes at last, Texas fans can look forward to checking out Columbia’s Cockaboose Railroad and the traditional “2001: A Space Odyssey” entrance by Carolina’s players.

UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS

Location: Knoxville

Enrollment: 27,039

Last national title: 1998

Last conference title: 1998

Old school football icons: Johnny Majors, Willie Gault, Steve Kiner

Absolute pigskin royalty: Peyton Manning, Reggie White, Jason Witten

Baseball legend:  Phil Garner

On mic/camera: Paul Finebaum

Bestseller list: Kurt Vonnegut, Cormac McCarthy

Potential NIL Financial Advisor: Dave Ramsey

Series vs. Texas:  Longhorns lead, 2-1

Notable: There haven’t been many opportunities to settle the “Who’s the real UT” debate.

The Horns and Vols split two early ’50s meetings…And it’s been more than a half-century since the most recent bash.  That was the Longhorns first wishbone season and the 36-13 stomping of Tennessee was the Steers’ ninth straight win, en route to 30.  James Street hit Cotton Speyrer with bombs of 78 and 79 yards and Tom Campbell spearheaded the defense…The Vols have yet to visit Austin and the Horns haven’t set foot in Knoxville because all previous battles were in Dallas.

TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY AGGIES

Location: College Station

Enrollment: 57,512

Last national title: 1939

Last conference title: 1998 (Big XII)

Old school football icons:  John David Crow, Gene Stallings, Billy Hobbs

More pigskin royalty: Ed Simonini, Darren Lewis, Kevin Murray, Dat Nguyen

Politicos:  Rick Perry, Will Hurd

Sing along with: Lyle Lovett, Robert Earl Keen

Eager Beaver: Arch Aplin III, founder of Buc-ee’s

Portable party for rent: Johnny Manziel

The series vs. UT:  Texas leads, 76-37-5

Notable: College Station packed ’em in for George Strait recently, but that was just a warm-up for the crowds eager for the Longhorns and Aggies to resume the rivalry on Nov. 30.

This season’s players were in kindergarten or early elementary school when Texas claimed bragging rights that have haunted Aggies ever since 2011.

Just mention these two names if you really want to make maroon blood boil:  

Justin Tucker…Jim Schlossnagle.

But remember: The ags poached wishbone coaching wizard Emory Bellard back in ’72.  He lifted A&M from the SWC cellar to contending for titles.

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY COMMODORES

Location: Nashville

Enrollment: 7,151

Last national title: N/A

Last conference title: 1923 (Southern Conference)

Old school football icons: Bill Wade, Pat Toomay

More pigskin royalty: Jay Cutler, Jordan Matthews

MLB All-Stars:  Dansby Swanson, Sonny Gray, Bryan Reynolds

On mic/camera:  Skip Bayless

Sing along with: Dinah Shore, Amy Grant

Bestseller list:  James Patterson

Goodtime ex-student:  Bettie Page, pin-up girl

Series vs. UT:  Vandy leads, 8-3-1

Notable:  President Calvin Coolidge often amused himself by using binoculars from his White House rocking chair, checking assorted license plates from all 48 states…and, yep, he was reading the sports page back in 1928, the last time the Horns and Commodores hooked up.  Vandy took a squeaker, 13-12 at Fair Park Stadium in Dallas that October….It’s going to be a while before UT can take a lead in this series.  The quest begins in Nashville on Oct. 26, and the Longhorns might need the road trip and some hot chicken, following a two-week diet of OU and Georgia.

THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS LONGHORNS

Location: Austin

Enrollment: 53,082

Last national title: 2005

Last conference title: 2023 (Big XII)

Old school football icons: Bobby Layne, Tommy Nobis, James Street, Earl Campbell

More pigskin royalty: Vince Young, Jimmy Saxton, Steve Worster, Roosevelt Leaks, Ricky Williams, Derrick Johnson, Cedric Benson, Colt McCoy, Bijan Robinson

On mic/camera: Walter Cronkite, Brian Jones, Sam Acho, Chris Simms, Fpzzy Whittaker

Hollywood connections: Fess Parker, Eli Wallach, Jon Hamm, Matthew McConaughey

And the Password is…   Allen Ludden (Phi Beta Kappa, ’40; M.A., English ’41)

Dream girl: Farrah Fawcett

Fly Me To The Moon: Alan Bean

Sing along with: Janis Joplin, Steve Miller

Swing along with:  Scottie Scheffler, Jordan Spieth, Justin Leonard, Ben Crenshaw, Tom Kite

Producers/Directors:  Richard Linklater, Robert Rodriguez

Bombshell ex-student:  Jayne Mansfield

Late great Renaissance Man:  Kinky Friedman

May the 4’s be with you: Quinn Ewers

Guest picker: Willie Nelson didn’t matriculate at UT but was a close bud of Darrell Royal and regularly played guitar for DKR’s players and coaches.  Always rode on the team bus to the Cotton Bowl when the Horns played OU or SMU.  Hey, long before the formation got so popular, the former Abbott Panther was known as “Shotgun Wille.”  And when the Longhorns start traveling to far flung, uncharted SEC destinations, just cue up “On the Road Again.”

(TLSN’s Larry Carlson teaches sports media classes at Texas State University.  He is a member of the Football Writers Association of America and lives in San Antonio.)

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